Episode 77: The Link Between Mother Wounds and Self Sabotage

Often, as women, our roles start to shift as we expand, and we find ourselves mothering our mothers in very subtle ways. In our expansion, we tend to take on the role of a mother to our mothers. Sometimes, it’s not that we want it to happen, but we automatically find ourselves doing it, especially when we have the finances and the means. 

Mothering our mothers, siblings, and children leaves our inner child unnurtured, which can build up resentments. Your inner child becomes angry, and to get your attention, your inner child stops your expansion. You self-sabotage not because you don’t want to grow but because when you’re not expanding, you can genuinely say not to mothering your mother (and any added pressure) to create more time for mothering yourself and your children.

So how do we stop ourselves from self sabotage as we expand?

Join the conversation with me, your host, Vangile Makwakwa, as I share more about mothering our mothers, how it ties into vows of loyalty and how it leads to self-sabotage. Let’s talk about how to deal with the pressures and expectations that come with expansion so we can thrive.   

Tune in!

During this episode, you will learn about:

[00:01] Introduction to the show 

[04:00] Today’s topic; The link between self-sabotage and mother wounds

[05:30] Vangile’s mom's behavior and how it triggers her 

[08:01] Shifts in relationships and roles that come with expansion

[10:21] Mothering our mothers and how it happens subtly

[11:04] Generational triggers of mothering our mothers and how it ties to black tax 

[12:31] Resentment that arises from mothering our mothers 

[16:01] How and why we often self-sabotage as we expand and grow 

[18:05] Breaking the vow of royalty and the guilt around mother wounds

[19:56] How to deal with the desire to mother your mother and expansion self-sabotage   

[20:54] The Vow of rebellion and loyalty and how they play out  in mother wounds 

[24:07] Ending the show and call to actions

Notable Quotes 

• More often, as black women, our relationships and roles start to shift as we expand, and we often find ourselves mothering our mothers.
• Most of us are walking around with an unmothered inner child.
• Your inner child self-sabotages in order to get your attention.
• As you expand, the mother wound can get bigger and become more triggering.
• You need to break your vows of loyalty to your mother, so you can stop emulating her behavior. 

Let’s Connect

Vangile Makwakwa

Website: https://www.wealthy-money.com/moneymagic 

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/vangilemakwakwa/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vangilemakwakwa/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/wealthymoney1